Devotion
by BalthierFlare
Summary: Shinogu leaves to become a monk. Asahi takes her final chance to make things right. Alternate ending. ShinoguxAsahi.


"One is loved because one is loved. No reason is needed for loving." –_Paulo Coelho, __The Alchemist_

--

-Devotion-

--

Left, right.

Had the sidewalk always been so grey? Everything seemed so much darker, more dismal, I should have realized. I was her brother, and I always would be. How could I even consider her thinking of me as a guy?

The temple came closer; it retained the color scheme of all the other background: black, grey, brown. I glanced through my black bangs to see an older man, smiling pleasantly at the entrance. All this black mess would soon be gone; I wondered what my head would look like shaved.

I had pondered for a long time whether she would love me if I had told her sooner, but before it was never an option. It was not possible to confess then. I always wished I never felt this way, it just developed and I couldn't release it.

"Are you sure you are ready to take your vows?" The monk asked as I approached him.

I shifted my grip on the handle of my various bags. I was ready.

Would this solve it all? Being isolated from anything that could remind me of her? I would remember simple things about her when I concentrated on something else. She always appeared in my thoughts. Would devoting myself to religion remove her existence?

I knew the answer. I would not admit it.

"Yes, I'm sure."

--

Faster, faster.

Why had no one told me about this sooner?! Everything moved too slowly, nothing could get me to him fast enough. I should have realized he would do something like this. How could he give up on life so easily?

I wouldn't arrive in time. He would have already taken his vows, and that meant celibacy! Great. Not like he hadn't practiced it for the rest of his life, anyway. I gazed out the taxi window, watching the grey sidewalk flash by, and noticing my reflection. I didn't have any time to get spiffed up; my hair was messy from work, the short auburn pieces sticking out in all directions. I poked at a soap stain on my zebra scarf from washing dishes. How embarrassing.

I'd thought for a long time whether he knew. He never seemed to catch on, but he was not oblivious at all. In fact, I think clueless would be one of the worst words to use to describe him. I would never consider it!

"Is it here, ma'am?" The taxi driver asked.

I patted my hair to try to get it to conform somewhat. I was here.

Could I help at all? I wanted to stop him so much, but could I? I could see the pain in his eyes. Had he always been so lonely? How could I never have noticed? Why couldn't I help him?

This was my last chance. Maybe I could help.

"Yes, this is it."

The driver stopped, I tossed a few twenties into the passenger seat as I exited. I could still see him; he had just answered the monk. He was carrying too much luggage, it looked really heavy. I needed to help him. He was still walking, entering the shrine.

"Narita Shinogu! Where do you think you are going?!" I called out in an attempt to halt his advance.

He turned around, setting his bags down, eyeing me with confusion.

"Asahi? What are you doing here?" He curled his brow, and the expected pink flushed his face.

"I'm coming to stop your stupid brigade!" I rolled by eyes and set my hands on my hips to make a bigger impact.

He picked up his bags, "I've already made my decision."

"I know that!" I replied, pointing my finger at him. Drama always caught his attention.

He frowned, I knew he understood. Why had I come? I was simply causing him more pain.

I dropped my arms to my side, and looked to the grey sidewalk, "I just had to admit…"

He began walking to me, but paused a few feet away. I stared at his black tennis shoes, and then glared at my yellow flats.

And I couldn't wait any longer, my mouth opened and my voice exploded outward, "I just had to tell you I love you! And I know you already know! I just had to come out and say it before I never see you again!"

I looked up, he wasn't looking at me: he was staring into the grey sidewalk.

"I'm sorry…"

"No, its fine, I knew you wouldn't feel the same. It's okay. I just had to get it off my chest, go on, go become a monk now. But you're missing out on some Asahi." I forced a smirk and a quiet laugh and dragged myself away. The sooner I got out of his sight, the faster I could cry.

The faster I would realize my attempt only made things harder on him. It only clogged his brain more than it had been before. It only made him weaker. I didn't think of getting a taxi, a nice long walk to the station would help clear my thoughts.

The black around me seemed to grow darker. The yellow of my flats faded into a grey. My zebra scarf didn't show any pattern, only darkness. Why had everything become so bland?

--

Asahi. I always knew, yet I never took any action. I caused her so much pain, I never did anything for her- she always helped me. She would appear at 7-11 and confront my harassers. She would inform me where Hatsumi was, well aware that I was in love with her. Asahi treated me so incredibly nicely, and I neglected her.

"Are you ready, sir?" The monk called.

I glanced at him. I shook my head, "I'm sorry for wasting your time, I have to go."

Faster, faster.

She had been walking to the station. I should have gone with her, if I were just going to see her off. Burning in my eyes was the image of her. Her unruly auburn hair, zebra scarf, bright orange t-shirt and skinny jeans. Her shoes were yellow, I had always liked them for some reason. She hadn't become black and subdued like all around me. Asahi was strong, she shined.

She wasn't anywhere in sight, she must have already made it to the station. It would be hard to find her there…

Finally I opened the glass door of the station, pushing through the brown clothed people; I scanned the crowd for her. It was so easy to find her, her bright clothing stood out and drew me to her. I spotted her, with her happy colored clothes, as she wiped tears from her eyes. Tears that I was the cause of.

I walked to her, and stood in front of her. It took her a moment to realize who I was. She looked away immediately, taking her scarf to wipe away all remnants of her tears.

"You didn't have to come and get me. I can go home myself, I'm a big girl. Trust me, Shinogu." She sniffed and faked a smile.

I grinned back. I couldn't resist blurting out, "I'm sorry I've caused you so much pain."

"It's not your fault. Don't blame everything on yourself." Tears still streamed down her face, how could it not be my fault?

"I'm not becoming a monk."

She glared at me, "Why?"

I smirked, "Because I love you."

Her eyes were wide, "Don't…"

My arms flew out and I pulled her close, embracing her in the middle of the dull crowd. No one paid any attention to the colorful girl as she was confronted by me. It took me so long to realize my feelings for her. And it may just have been the right time- it was not too late.

"Shinogu…" She looked up at me with a huge grin, "Thanks for not going into the monk business."

I chuckled, "Thanks for coming and stopping me."

"What can I say?" She laughed, and then she sung to me, in a sweet voice, _"All you need is love."_

_--_

**Disclaimer: I do not own Hot Gimmick, Miki Aihara does. And she is amazing.  
A/N: YEP. I didn't quite know how to end it but The Beetles are always an option. GAH. The end for Shinogu made me so angry! I never once approved of him and Hatsumi, but I wanted him to be happy, and I think Asahi would be great for him. ^^ Please R&R!**


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